It’s not personal.

A couple years back I read a book that changed my life and I still try to practice the teachings of this book to this day. The book is called “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. I ran into an old friend from high school who put me on to this book and I haven’t been the same since. I’m not going to go into details about this book because I want you ALL to get this book and read it for yourself. But I will share with you what I took from the book.

I’m the type of person who likes to have control over myself because that’s the only thing I really have control over in this world and I felt at that particular point in my life, I needed to get a better grasp. Long story short I went to the book store, saw my friend, bought the book, read it, and now you have the me that I value and love today.

So he begins the book about talking about his background, practices and spiritual journey and then tells you how to tackle life with just FOUR AGREEMENTS! Now if reading isn’t one of your go-to qualities, like myself, this book is perfect for you. It’s short, it gets right to the point and its clear as day. I could go into detail but I really want you all to read it yourself and apply to your life the way you interpret it.

Anyways….the agreement that stuck out to me was “Don’t take anything personally.” This right here just blew my mind because I feel there are people out there who spend their day conjuring up ways to disrespect you lol. Some things that people to do me are just out of control and if I was quick enough to get a camera to record this I’m sure you would drop your jaw with this foolery! But as he explained it, I couldn’t help but understand and make a change immediately. He  basically says that no two people can ever view the world the same. You could be 9 out of 10 but not 10 out of 10 because thats not how we are made. We are all individually crafted by God, you are not a duplicate. So there is NO ONE who thinks EXACTLY like YOU. So that means they don’t interpret like you do,they don’t respond or react like you do. So what are your grounds for being upset and taking it personal? None for the most part. Seems a little unfair to be upset or offended by someone who has a complete different perception because their brain is wired different. The end conclusion to that….don’t take it personally.

A major area where I feel as people we get most offended is how others handle us. People will call you names, cheat you out of things or just be flat out mean. And most times its something from within triggering that and has nothing to do with you existing. Once making this agreement I became more mindful in my ways of responding to negative energy. There are things that are completely out of your control and will rub you the wrong way but most things are in your control. So with that I just approached everything with the attitude don’t take it personal and I promise you I’ve been in a great mood since.

My days became easier because I wasn’t thinking why or what made that person think they could do that to me. It has all to do with them because I know I woke up in a good mood thanking God. Can I get a Amen, thank you Jesus!! Its crazy how much unnecessary things you might experience in a day because you took it to the heart and didn’t have to.

I’m not saying become completely insensitive to the world but stop and think from time to time, “Did that have to do with me or was that just your personal bad day?” And you will see majority of the time its not you. Better days are sure to come!


3 thoughts on “It’s not personal.

  1. Ms. Aja Gibbs says:

    Appreciate this post. Its sometimes hard to put into practice, especially when negative energy is from those close to us. But, its necessary. Everyone has a different frame of refrence.

  2. Stacey Gold says:

    Wow ladies! “Don’t take it Personal”….Sylvia this blog has made me revaluate my own feelings after reading this.
    Sandra thank you for being so open, your reply is what I too deal with on a day to day basis when being the Only one for years that looked like myself in my work place. I often remember my father teachings of treating those that my or my not know the Lord with kindness inspite of……love and kindness will rule over hatred and FEAR every time. Be blessed ladies. I won’t take it personal!

  3. sandrakoranteng says:

    Love this Sylvia! I agree with you/this book completely and I think this is exactly what I needed to read. I am a very sensitive person and I am very in touch with my emotions. It’s to the point that I can’t hide my expression. If someone does something that I perceive as “hurtful” or “wrong”, I’ll unconsciously go into “shade” mode, meaning I do not want to be loving to them. But after reading this, it got the wheels rolling. What if I am the only Jesus someone sees and if I claim to have him, then I can’t be shady because my little feelings were hurt. Granted, we’re entitled to our feelings, but what does anger get us? Nothing good comes from anger. Even yesterday, I was a bit in my feelings as I realized that one of the higher level people at my job purposely avoids me, avoids eye-contact with me, and doesn’t speak when I greet him. Actually, a couple of the higher-level people do this. I laughed initially, but then I started to dwell on it, because I thought “No one should be treated that way”. But after reading this post, I have to realize it’s not me. This person probably grew up with only people of his racial background or grew up with false ideas of people from other ethnic backgrounds. I just don’t know. What I do know, like you said, is that I can only control me. I can control my actions and my responses toward undesired actions. I want to make that change today!

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