Pressed or Nah?

We have evolved over the years in many areas: hygiene, technology, education, and many more. We’ve also evolved in schools of thought, including the women’s rights movement. Women have made major contributions to society, such as Angela Davis and Elaine Brown (officials in the Black Power Movement), Condoleezza Rice and Hilary Clinton ( government officials for the United States) and Sonya Sotomayor (the first Latina Justice on the Supreme Court). This girl power has motivated many young women, myself included!

BUT this is not even the meat of the convo I want to have today!! Ladies, does this girl power overflow into our relationships with the opposite sex in positive or negative ways? We literally can do anything we put our minds to including being intentional in our dating relationships, however, what is effective and what isn’t?



I know me personally, I am a reserved person and typically when I get to know the opposite sex, it is initiated by the male. In some instances, I’ve initiated with the opposite sex and its ended terribly! In my own experience, when I did this, the males didn’t take me as seriously and thought that I was not looking for a long term relationship, but more so a “fling” of sorts. However, I have friends who have gone after their men and have had fulfilling relationships. A friend of mine told me that “society has corrupted our minds into thinking that going after a male is press (desperate)”. And I agree with her; we are an evolving generation and the ideals our parents lived by are not the ones in place today.;however, as a woman, you can’t help but have reservations at times about what is too much…. Hmm. So I have questions for both my female and male readers…

Ladies: do you prefer a man pursue you, or you go after what you want? How do you perceive women who do/don’t go after what they want.

Gentlemen: is your view of a woman or her expectations from the relationship changed if she pursues you?

6 thoughts on “Pressed or Nah?

  1. Mutulu Shakur says:

    No, it doesn’t change my view of a woman if she pursues me. It’s exciting, forreal. Men feel the same way women do when being pursued. Women definitely should go after what they want. Honestly, we assume you’re looking for a fling because that’s all we’re looking for. That’s the “catch 22” with be the initiator and pursuing someone, you’re always vulnerable to whatever the catch’s intentions maybe with you. It’s the same thing when we as men pursue women and end up in the friend zone. What are we supposed to do, quit and not pursue women anymore? Naw, take the L and keep on

    • sandrakoranteng says:

      Thanks for the male perspective Mutulu. I never thought about that. You get what the catch is looking for. It just goes to show its best to be real about your intentions up front

  2. Lady J says:

    I believe depending on how the situation is handled and approached it’s okay for a female to approach a male. However, it’s the afterwards that’s where the problem lie. I believe to always let the man take the lead. So once the initial “pursue” allow the man to be a man and let him lead. Then he won’t feel like the female wears the pants cause she has controlled everything

    • sandrakoranteng says:

      Thanks Jasmine! I do feel it’s important for a man to lead as well. I think it makes him feel important. How would you approach a man you’re interested in?

      • Lady J says:

        Honestly, I wouldn’t nor have I ever. But I know a few times if I am close with his friends I will let his one of his closeset friend know I am interested but I will wait for him to make the move. If I know he’s interested too, I will intentionally open a conversation with him and make him feel like he’s the one who initiated it. But give him clues I’m interested too and hopes he picks up on it and pursue me!

  3. Stacey says:

    Wow Sandra, this is food for thought! I would be interested in knowing how the younger generation does things now.

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