TTTT: Is Chivalry Dead and are “Good” Women Extinct?

Photo courtesy of

Over the past few years or so, there has been a growing conversation about whether or not chivalry is dead. Many women would agree with the statement with no questions asked, and of course there are still some optimists out there, but majority of women either think chivalry is dead or is definitely lacking in the newer generations. But why is this so? Have men completely separated themselves from the notion? Do women require less from men? Well, in my opinion, there are tons of factors that play into the idea of chivalry being dead. I will say that I don’t think that chivalry is completely dead; however, I do believe that chivalry has become so rare that when a man exudes it, we’re completely shell-shocked.

Let’s be real, if we encounter a man who is chivalrous AND fine, we’re already imagining ourselves walking down the aisle. There’s something about a man who can be strong enough to make you feel protected and gentle enough to make you feel loved and vulnerable. But in today’s society it’s like we have to pick one or the other. If he’s fine, he might not be the best gentleman, and if he’s respectful and well-mannered, he might not look the part (shallow, but true).

So what’s to blame for this tug-of-war battle? Honestly, I think it has the most to do with pop culture (music, television, film, social media, etc.) We’d rather turn up or Netflix and Chill more than we’d like to build solid relationships and be respectful of other people and their feelings. Music encourages men to have multiple women, call them thots, hoes, and b*tches, and encourages women to have a side dude to fulfill the needs her main guy can’t. What kind of twisted fantasy is that? Well, we’re buying in to it; hence why tons of people think chivalry is dead. We’re moving further and further away from the way God intended male and female relations to be and it’s so sad.

Social media has also presented a new stream of income for anyone who wants a shot at fame and a “career.” Today’s women would rather sell protein powder and waist trainers, while wearing little to no clothing, than to gain a following by using her platform for something much more productive. These barely clothed “models” are sending the message that the female body is a playground and that men don’t have to respect them in order to get a piece. Why court a woman when you can just slide into her DM’s, buy her a nice bag, and she’s sold to the highest bidder? If a man can get a woman with less work, of course he’s going to take her up on the offer. There is no expectation of men and no standards or boundaries anymore, so men feel like they can do and/or say whatever (especially if they have money/power). And this spike in gold digging brings me to my next point…

Are good women becoming extinct too? Surprisingly, many men would agree with this statement. I recently had a conversation with a friend who hipped me to the thoughts of men in today’s society. According to her, men feel like good women don’t exist anymore. Yeah she might look good, but she’s most likely not going to date a man who is building his empire. See, a man has to already be established in order to even step to these gold digging women. She doesn’t want to hear that you’re in school or you make less than six figures. If you drive a 98 Honda, don’t even breathe her air. But the funny thing is, most of these women who expect their man to have it all together at the age of 23, don’t even have their own lives together. They don’t cook or clean, and have absolutely no clue what a 401K is. I blame ratchet reality TV for this one. Love and Hip Hop is obviously brainwashing our queens to believe that as long as they keep the body tight, they have the right to only date men who belong to a certain tax bracket. And if he’s getting a check, who cares if he’s cheating on you right? He’ll just buy you a new Birkin. WRONG! If you want a man who has money, get your money up too! Bring something to the table more than your sexuality. Don’t expect to be taken care of and you have nothing to offer. Point blank period.

Photo courtesy of


Don’t get me wrong… There are tons of great men and women still out there, it’s just tougher to weed through them. Do you think chivalry is dead? Are more and more women becoming gold diggers? Comment below!

6 thoughts on “TTTT: Is Chivalry Dead and are “Good” Women Extinct?

  1. Dr. Evelyn says:

    Jessica this is a great article. It is sad to watch young women go through some of the struggles you vividly describe. But it is a combination of factors that has contributed to some ladies having the “gold digger” mind set. Society is filled with countless examples of women who thought it is a virtue to start from the scratch with a man and build together, so you will forever be happy ever after. Because it is logical to think, the man will remember all the hard times you have been together and you have shown understanding and “reward” you in good times. But what we see in the end, are women whose hearts are broken and their lives have been shattered to the extent that some end up in mental institutions because of the unfaithfulness of their husbands.

    Looking back on my 30 years of marriage, the advise I will give to a young woman contemplating marriage is:
    1. Build a solid relationship with God- He will see you through all the storms of life.
    2. Take care of yourself and career – Personal Financial Sufficiency is liberating
    3. Choose a man who loves and respect you and without force will travel to the end of the rainbow to get you a pot of gold. The reality is you need money to pay the bills and keep stress out of the home. Gauge: is your life getting better since you met, or rather your insecurities are growing and you are falling apart inside out?
    4. Watch these red flags: Mr. Armstrong (stingy and not a giver), The -go -to person for every woman, a man who keeps his phone under lock 24/7 (what are you hiding?); Uncertain about their career and cannot hold down any job.
    Enough for now.

  2. Rap says:

    Chivalry is definitely not dead. I’d say most men want to be chivalrous, we just need that “coaching”. “Chivalry is Dead” it can definitely be revived if Women demand it. On gold diggers, I highly doubt that there are any more gold diggers today than there were in any other generation. Imagine how many gold diggers there were in the 80’s when everybody and they momma was making fast money… The only part social media plays in it is exposing it to the world. If men are on IG showing off whatever monetary achievements they may have, why should gold digging be an ulterior motive? Why not just let that be your M.O. up front?

  3. Stacey says:

    Wow, Jessica you put this blog down today! I agree with you, since I’m older and I first saw chivalry with my parents, I knew that I wanted my husband to do the same for me. Now it took some coaching and I lucked out and he does! We have heard strangers say to us exactly what you are saying here but admiring us saying, “alright now, Chivalry is not dead”!

Leave a Reply to Dr. Evelyn Cancel reply