The Life of a Single Woman in a Ratchet World

So I know you’re probably cracking up after reading the title of this post, but ya girl had to keep it 100. LOL. Let’s be real, living the single life can be the struggle, but being single in this ratchet world will have you looking like this



Seriously, at least once a day I’m that confused emoji wondering how this world became so ratchet. I guess we can thank Mona Scott for that…


No shade Mona LOL! But, all jokes aside this world really is becoming more and more ratchet. It’s acceptable to be a side chick and to take your child’s father back after he’s cheated on you 10 times. Oh, not to mention there’s women fighting on TV for ratings, and men out here wearing wigs and twerking. This is our ratchet reality.

Sex is plastered everywhere and to a woman practicing “The Wait,” you know that means no dates for me. My dating life is pretty non-existent. I’m OK with it though, but I won’t lie, it can be frustrating when the media and society has tainted love. Instead of men falling in love with you just because of who you are, things have flipped and it’s what you can do for a man. If I can’t show him my freakiest move in the bedroom, then he’s chucking up the deuces.

I know someone out there can relate to what I’m saying. I hate to say that there is a lack of good men out there because I know there are plenty of wholesome, Christian men out there, but from my experience throughout the last two years, I haven’t really met any. It’s either the guy who seems nice, but ends up being a grown little boy or the guy who tries to ask you on a date because you’re “cute,” but doesn’t know anything about you. Sometimes I want to bang my head on a wall! Not because I don’t believe there’s a man out there for me, but because these men and this ratchet behavior is ruining the hope of many good women out here.

I can’t count the number of conversations I’ve had with my girlfriends about the craziness that exists today, and the ones who are in relationships don’t wish to be single in this ratchet world.

My singleness has definitely been a journey, but now I can say that I’m content in being alone. Don’t get me wrong, there are those days where I see most of my friends posting pictures with their men or hear dating stories from them, and I’m like “Dang. I wish I had a companion.” But those feelings soon fade into the distance when I’m reminded that my happiness lies in Jesus Christ; not in a man.

Honestly, I believe I’m in my hidden phase. This means that God is hiding me so that I can only be seen by my husband. I rarely get attention from men, and if I do it’s not from anyone I would give time out of my day. I used to ask God why no one has really approached me since 2014, and he replied, “I don’t want you to be distracted. Work on you until it’s time.” I’m confident that my future husband will find me in perfect timing!

I want to hear your stories! How has your single season been?

XO, Jess


8 thoughts on “The Life of a Single Woman in a Ratchet World

  1. abloomingheart7 says:

    A year later and this post is still so relevant! I can so totally relate to the “hiding phase”. It’s hard to trust God and trust the process, especially when you’ve gone through a loooong period of singleness AND you apparently there are no prospects. The older I get the more I look around and all of my friends are getting married, having kids… and I am getting questions like, “do you even want to get married?!” or statements like “your standards are too high”… and I am like or… maybe… just maybe… it’s just not my time yet. God knows the when, the how, the who, the where, the why… I am just here for the ride ๐Ÿ™‚ Awesome post! Love it!

  2. Lady J says:

    I really enjoyed reading this!! it is so sad the “idea” that is out there concerning dating and being in a relationship. I always get mixed reactions when people ask me why i am waiting. They are always like in this day and age who does that? well me duh!!! The word of God is never old fashion it was and still is!!!

  3. Kendall says:

    Whoa! Talk about hitting home. This post definitely did that with me and so many thoughts are running through my mind. At my age, I have accepted the fact that maybe my chances of getting married are next-to-none (see my mustard seed-sized faith). I mean, I know yes, there are plenty of “good” men out here but the odds that single women go against nowadays, I think that I’d just prefer to live my life to the fullest and focus on God. When you meet men today in this ratchet world you have to discern SO, SO much — uhmm, does this man I just met have a love for and a relationship with God? How does he treat his momma? Is he a felon? How many baby mommas does he have? Is he really divorced (need to see court docs please before we go any further!)? Has he ever been homosexual or dabbled in bisexuality? What are his goals, motives and desires and do they align with mine? How does he live out here on these internet streets (goes to check his IG, Tweets, Facebook, etc.)? And the questions go on. *Huge Sigh* I mean dang, LOL, can I just get a man that walks strong like a man should and with a purpose at this point in time?!?!? Dating is equivalent to detective work in today’s world. But I’ve found solace in the fact that my life was created for God’s glory and that He chose me to do His works here on earth. I know that I only have one life and I’ve got to live it before I return to my heavenly Father. I too am content with being alone and hidden, not just alone but I’m happy and single, and I enjoy the freedom in being able to go out on a whim and not have to answer to any man at this time. Sure it gets tough (especially when in “heat” and there’s free and empty sex opportunities all around you, everywhere), but I know that is not what I want and I know that the wages of sin (fornication) is still death. So ratchetness carry on but yeah, please miss me with all that comes with it. Thanks but no thanks!!

    • Jessica Gold says:

      Kendall I loved this comment! You had me cracking up LOL! You’re so right though! It shouldn’t be this hard to find a good man but unfortunately it’s the world we live in. I have hope that God has the perfect man for you who will have the same goals spiritually and in all other aspects. If you have the desire for marriage, it’s there for a reason and it will manifest in due time! God Bless sister and remain faithful ๐Ÿ’•

  4. Stacey says:

    Amen! What a profound statement! “I’m in my hidden phase, God is hiding me so that I can only be seen by my husband.

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