“But Are you Whole…?”

Hey ladies & gents,

It feels so good to be back blogging again. I definitely missed you guys!

Alright!  So we all know that Valentine’s day is next week and if you are in a relationship this must be an exciting or expensive time for you and your partner. If you are single, this may  be an annoying, sad, awkward but mostly sad time for you. 

Isn’t funny how you are never truly aware of your singleness until hallmark holidays like Valentine’s day come rolling around? I was on the phone with one of my very good friends who was complaining about how she’s going to be spending another Valentine’s day alone and how she cannot wait to finally find somebody she can share herself with!

 Honestly,  the entire time she was talking, all I could think about were the obvious things she needed to work on for HERSELF before she can even share herself with another person. 

Let’s be frank  with each other for a second. We can desire to want to share ourselves with others and there’s nothing wrong with that. Because our Creator saw that it wasn’t good for man to be alone.  But the real question is, are you whole? 

How can you give of yourself when you are missing pieces? How can you give something that you haven’t even received or experienced?  It’s one thing to desire a companionship and another to be actually prepared for one.

A lot of times we enter into relationships with so much stuff, thinking that having someone to share and work through our stuff with will make things better. But nobody wants to be your baggage handler–especially if they also have stuff they are trying to work through. Then the whole relationship is a mess, doesn’t work out and we blame it on each other.

If people would just be honest with themselves, do a little soul search and get themselves together, most relationships would not fail. You can not give something you don’t have!

Take care of yourself. Ask God to shine a light on your hurt places and allow Him to heal those broken pieces and places.  Have your own life. Take yourself out on dates. Focus on your career and profession. Better yourself. Make friends. Travel. Be honest with yourself. Be the better version of yourself. Enjoy your own company. Be your own happiness. Be whole.

When  you are able to be all these things for yourself,  then you are able to share it with someone else, who you are sure has put in work into making their lives whole. Your wholeness will complete each other!

Please share other suggestions below and let’s have a conversation about how we can be the right person for ourselves first, and then others.

Until next time,

Lady J.

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