One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my 24 years on this Earth is that friendship is seasonal. It’s just a fact that we must all accept. As sad as it may seem, there are just some people who will not be in our lives for a lifetime, and that’s OK.
Personally, I am blessed to have some of the most amazing friends. I have friends that I talk to daily, and friends that I only speak to every few months, but when we catch up, it’s like we just spoke the day before. I also have friends that I’ve only known for a few years, and they’re just as trustworthy as the friends I have known since middle or high school. And of course there are some people who were my friends that are no longer my friends now. At first I took it very personally. Yeah I was that girl who would be all in my feelings like, ” How dare you walk out of my life and we’ve been homegirls since age 12!” But then I realized that all friends do not last a lifetime. Some people are just there for a season, and then it is meant for you two to move apart. A tough pill to swallow, but once I stopped making it about ME, I was able to grasp the concept.
I had to stop playing the blame game and just accept it for what it was. Obviously, this person was in my life for a reason and their friendship taught me a lesson about myself and others. Just like romantic relationships, friendships can teach you what you will and won’t accept from people, and they can also teach you how much influence certain people have in your life. Maturity also plays a huge part in friendships because as you become older, you realize that some arguments might’ve been petty and that you could’ve handled situations in a better way. But that’s all a part of life. We live and we learn. Yes, maybe you aren’t friends with someone over a huge misunderstanding, but just accept it. I’m a believer in that everything happens for a reason, so if they were truly meant to remain in your life for more than a season, you would still be friends with them. Don’t waste your time thinking about the shoulda, coulda, woulda, and just know that their season is up in your life.
Friendships can also be seasonal by choice. Say you stopped drinking and going to the club and your best friend is still heavily involved in that lifestyle, and doesn’t understand or respect your choice to turn over a new leaf. You could chose to end the friendship because of the detriment it may be in your life. I’m not saying to judge them and to make them feel guilty about the way they’re living, but if the friendship is no longer conducive to your life, do not feel bad about ending it. It’s all about what you can handle and what you personally think could influence you to fall back into your old ways. For me, it’s pretty easy to remain friends with people live differently than I do because I have a strong will and I’m not easily influenced. If I don’t want to do something, then I simply don’t do it. So if you’re like me, don’t just go around cutting everyone off because you’ve made a lifestyle change. Just let them know that you’re trying to change and connect with them on a different level. If they don’t want to be friends with you because you’re evolving then that’s fine. Don’t beg anyone for friendship.
Look at each friendship as a blessing from God. You can’t tell me that you have not learned at least one thing from a friendship that has ended, so cherish the friends you do have now because you never know when their time may be up!