It’s been awhile. I hope you have been living your best life, reclaiming your time, and enjoying your summer! I have been so busy that I couldn’t even fit in the time to blog, but I’m back to celebrate a huge milestone. I have been celibate for TWO years! *cues applause and music*
Yes, TWO longggggggg years LOL. It honestly feels like about five years, but I am extremely excited and proud of myself thus far. However, none of the credit goes to me because it has been nothing but God’s grace that has kept me on track. If it wasn’t for God, I know I would’ve had some slip-ups.
My mind, body and soul feel pure and refreshed. I never felt this way when I was having sex. I felt dirty and lowkey ashamed to step foot into church because I knew I was living in sin. I’m more focused on my aspirations than the next time I’m going to get my fix of sexual pleasure. This journey has truly been a blessing. It has not been easy by far, but it has been SO worth it! Just to keep it real, this has been probably the hardest thing to do other than writing, producing and directing my own web series. This journey has been challenging. I mean think of it like a super restrictive diet. It’s like I went from eating whatever I wanted to drastically only eating fruits and vegetables. My body was in shock! My flesh had been fed whenever it desired to be fed, so to completely dominate it was a tricky task.
It definitely took some practice, but I was determined to make a complete lifestyle change. I was tired of giving my body to men who always ended up hurting me. Beyond that, I wanted to make my body a living sacrifice. I can’t call myself a follower of Christ if I pick and chose when I want to obey. I think the thought of knowing that this isn’t permanent is what keeps me going. I know God is proud of me and he might even reward me with an amazing husband one day. But even if there isn’t an incentive, I just feel so much better living this life of celibacy. I no longer waste my time dealing with trash guys because they’re weeded out from the beginning. I also no longer deal with destructive soul ties.
I literally pray for endurance everyday because this journey feels long. Sometimes I feel like giving up and getting me some sex, but what is that going to cure? It’s only going to fuel my flesh in the moment, and then I’ll be left feeling guilty and ashamed. It’s totally not worth it. I will admit that Satan attacks my mind more since he knows that he physically can’t get me. Plus, seeds are planted in our hearts and minds first before we act out physically. He tries his best to make me lust after men, but for the most part he hasn’t succeeded. However, when those lustful thoughts and feelings arise, I open my Bible, pray, and if the desire is really strong, I fast.
So to all the sistas out there that believe you NEED sex… you’re wrong. I’m flourishing hunty and you can too! Don’t let the world discourage you because you are doing things differently. I’ve never been a follower, and I don’t plan on changing that at age 24. Keep the faith and keep pushing if you are also celibate! It’s temporary. Romans 8:18.