After watching last night’s episode of Insecure, I knew that this would be a great topic to discuss on the blog. Is the good guy always good for you? In my opinion, no.
A few weeks ago on the show, Molly went on a date with a good guy played by Sterling K. Brown, but for some reason she wasn’t feeling him although he’s a good guy on paper. He’s smart, a career man, and he wants to settle down. Molly’s character is trying to turn over a new leaf and delete her “hoeness” like Draya claims you can. So far, she’s abandoned sleeping with every guy she meets and is trying her best to be a new and improved Molly. So improved that she’s forcing herself to make it work with the good guy. She even invites him to her parents’ vow renewal because she holds them up on a pedestal. She desires to have what they have and she thinks that the good guy can give her that, even if that means she has to settle for the good guy that she’s not a 100 percent sold on.
Many women settle for guys who have not even reached “good” status, but what happens when the man is basically perfect, but he’s not perfect for you? Do you let him go? Or do you suck it up because you don’t want to miss out on a good one? For me, the answer is always to let him go. I don’t want to live a life full of regret if I settle. I want to be 100 percent sure, even on our bad days that I made the right choice.
I was actually in a similar position about two years ago. I had met a really good guy. He was attractive, had a great job, and wanted to be in a committed relationship. He would splurge on me, but something was missing. To me, the chemistry just wasn’t all the way there and I wasn’t ready for the level of commitment he was ready for. I didn’t think it was fair to keep leading him on when I knew that I didn’t want to be with him. But in today’s society, the finesse is real. If a guy is going to spoil you and he treats you right, you might as well ride it out as long as you can, or you might as well force yourself to be with him long-term because he’s the one that’s going to put a ring on it.
I don’t think it’s wrong to desire the full package. I’m not encouraging women to nitpick, but I think it’s important to be honest with yourself and your needs. I truly believe that there are men out there perfect for us. Realistically, they have flaws, but they are still prefect for the women they are with. That’s what I want. I don’t want to settle for good in a general sense. Are you good for ME though? That’s the question.
What do you think?