I hope you have been doing well, and I hope you had the chance to purchase my new eBook entitled “How I Got My Crown Back.” If you haven’t, don’t worry. Click here!
In my book, I touch on the topics of today’s blog post, but I want to expand more on it, because in this day and age, relationships seem like a game. People play with the idea of commitment and they are extremely selfish when it comes to meeting the needs of their partner. But, I’m sick of seeing trash relationships play out. It’s exactly what Satan wants. He wants us to be entangled in drama and confusion. I don’t know about y’all, but I want something real and I’m willing to wait for it.
Now I’ve had my share of situationships, so I can totally relate to people in them. I never entered them by choice, but somehow I was lured into this territory because I didn’t want to let go. I was willing to compromise what I really wanted, just so I could still have a piece of the person I didn’t feel was worth letting go. Most of these situationships took place during my college years. We did everything a committed couple would do, but there was no title and no boundaries if I’m going to be honest. I always ended up getting the short end of the stick because I was monogamous in these situations, but of course the guy wasn’t. Time and time again I would find out about all the other girls they were messing with or that they had a secret girlfriend the whole time. I was a mess back then, but unfortunately, so many women are still stuck in this type of relationship. Why? There’s a ton of reasons why, but the most common is that many women do not know their worth and don’t really believe in their morals and values. I say this because most of these women probably want to be in a committed relationship, but end up settling. And if you’re the kind of woman who fears real commitment, a situationship is not going to fulfill you long-term. There’s too many blurred lines and then feelings get involved. You are doing yourself a disservice. If you want a man to commit, don’t settle. Simple as that. But you have to be strong in your conviction. Stop letting these men get away with taking a piece of your heart and body with them when they haven’t made any type of sacrifice to truly pursue you.
Relationships with no Direction
I know I’m going to step on some toes with this one, but lets be real! You have no business being in a relationship with no intention. What’s the purpose? To fill a void or to cure your loneliness? I can’t count the amount of times I have heard people say “I don’t know if I would marry them though.” Huh? So you’re OK with wasting your time? It just doesn’t make sense to me. Why go through the gut-wrenching highs and lows with someone, just to break up with them years later? Yes, you might learn a few lessons, but it’s pretty pointless. You could’ve spent that time pursuing your purpose. In my opinion, we’re doing this whole dating and relationship thing totally wrong. Why spend YEARS trying to figure out if a man is going to be your husband, when you can get to know him on many levels in the friendship phase? I also think it’s ridiculous that some people believe that it takes years to figure out if a man is husband material. Honey, if you watch his patterns like Heather and Cornelius Lindsey would say, you can spot the red flags or the fruits of his labor within a few months. It really pains my heart when I see women wandering aimlessly in these relationships. Dating and relationships should mean that there is an end result. It’s intentional. I know some folks don’t want to get married, and I’m not here to judge them. Different strokes for different folks, but I think that there should be a goal to accomplish in the relationship. If not, it just seems pointless. We’ve got to stop dating just to pass the time. It’s OK to sit your boyfriend down and discuss short and long-term goals. If a future together isn’t in the cards, do yourself a favor and leave the relationship. Nobody has time for that go with the flow, non-nonchalant attitude. If a man wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he will make that be known VERY clearly. He want give you the run-around or tell you that you should wait until a certain age. Of course this is situational if there is a plan to finish school or something of the sort, but in all honesty, a man who wants you to be his wife won’t let a timeline stop him.
I want to hear from you. What are your thoughts?