Now I know some of you are already giving me the side-eye after reading the title of this post, but hear me out! I’m going to address the misconceptions about submission and what it means for the 2017 woman.
What Submission is NOT
- Submission does NOT mean that you are a doormat and have absolutely no opinion in your marriage.
- Submission does NOT mean obey.
- Submission does NOT make you weak or less than a man.
- Submission and control are NOT the same.
- Submission is NOT an option in marriage.
What Submission IS
- Submission is respecting and trusting your husband enough to allow him to lead your family and household as he is led by God.
- Submission is God’s way. It doesn’t mean that your husband is your God and that he can boss you around.
- Submission actually makes you a stronger unit.
- Submission is healthy. Control is not.
- Submission is a requirement in marriage. You can’t expect to have a healthy marriage without it.
In 2017, submission definitely seems like a foreign topic. The new-age woman is smart, independent and is often times more successful than her man. It’s difficult for her to practice submission because the definition has been misconstrued. Submission means to get under the mission. It does not mean that you have to walk around barefoot, pregnant and silent. However, it does mean that you trust that your husband can lead you and your family as he submits to God. Of course you’re allowed to have an opinion, express your concerns, and use your strengths in the relationship. But many women take that and run with it. Stop trying to divide submission. Your husband is the head of the household. But this doesn’t make you less than him. You are his help meet and can meet the needs of many other areas better than he can. That’s why God ordained the family structure this way. Just because the Bible says that your husband is to lead you, doesn’t make him any more important than you. Your roles are different. That’s it. The new-age woman seems to want control both in her career and at home. She won’t let her husband lead, and this causes men to feel emasculated. You chose that man for a reason, so let him do what he’s supposed to do. And if he’s a wise husband and is truly lead by God, he would recognize that your opinion does matter, but ultimately it’s up to him to grasp that concept.
In the same breath, I will say that tons of women are not confident in their husband’s leadership skills. If you’re not, then why did you marry him? I’m not saying that his decision making will always make you happy and that he’ll always get it right, but I am saying that before marrying him, his leadership skills should have been evident. You should have seen fruit on his tree from his obedience to God. And a TRUE man of God would know that submission means that his whole family is his responsibility and he’s accountable to God for every decision he makes. He will not pull the submission card when he wants to control you. That’s why it’s so important to marry a TRUE man of God if you are a woman of God. He will understand submission, while still making you feel like a valued part of the relationship and he will make it his duty to lead you as God leads him. But if you marry a man who has no idea how to submit to God, you’ll honestly probably end up in a ditch. A man who is not lead by God has no direction. He will lean on his own understanding and not God’s, which will put tons of strain on the marriage.
At the end of the day, you should want to be on one accord in your marriage. Submission is the key to agreement. This also goes for the household finances *gasp,* but that’s a whole different topic. Maybe I’ll do a part 2.
Need more help understanding submission? Read Ephesians 5:22-24