Year four. Year FOUR of being single on Valentine’s Day. I go back and forth on whether this bothers me. One day I’m like “I don’t even care, I have a speaking engagement on that day anyways.” And the next I’m like “Dang, so NOBODY wants to ask me to be their Valentine? Oh aight. Truuuuuu!” I literally have to laugh at myself because I don’t know why this holiday is so important. Then I figured out the root of the problem… it’s that I’m embarking on another year and I STILL have no one to share it with.
Despite these rollercoaster of emotions, I am extremely happy with my life. Yes, I am going through a challenging pruning process (which I’ll discuss in detail in my next post), but I’m happy. Just happy to see a new day when I wake up. Some super exciting things are on the horizon for me, so I’m elated, humbled, and thankful for the most part. But when I think about sharing this excitement with a purpose partner, I shrink into this place of wonder. I find hope in the fact that God loves me better and more than any earthly man could, but there’s something about a physical example that my heart longs for. Yes, it would be romantic to be showered in love on February 14, but I desire a life-partner. I desire someone who aligns with my purpose so badly. I desire a shoulder to cry on when I’ve had a rough day. I desire someone to hold me when I can’t sleep at night. I totally trust that God is working on my love story as I write this post, but I can’t help but daydream about it.
To be honest, I only have one memory of Valentine’s Day with someone and that was when I was 16. Does that really count? LOL. But back then you couldn’t tell me nothing! But from age 17 to 25, I’ve watched as my friends created great Valentine’s Day memories, while I sit back and imagine what my memories will someday look like. This isn’t a post to make you feel down in the dumps, but it is to keep it real. Everyone seems to want us to be strong 24/7, without doubt or fear, but that’s not my reality. Truth is I get frustrated at times. I get impatient. Emotions sometimes riddle my day and that makes me human.
So on February 14th of this year I would like to focus on the gift of life and the gift of purpose. I’ll be speaking to the youth about relationships and love, which brings me so much joy! Yes, I would like some Lindor chocolate, or a bouquet of flowers. But will that happen? Probably not, and I just have to accept that and realize that it won’t ALWAYS be like this. I find hope in that.
Do you have a Valentine this year? If so, what are your plans or what would you like to do?