Now that I have Your attention with that Kanye lyric… hello ladies! I hope you’re doing stellar this new year. Today, I want to talk about something is overlooked but so important, and it’s your power.
I struggle with people pleasing. I want to be liked and don’t want people to be mad at me (stemming from childhood). My people pleasing is something that I’ve grown to hate. It can cripple me, overthinking every failed scenario and failing in attempts to “correct” a situation. But this year, I decided that enough is enough. When we people please, we give away our power. Think about it. Every time you said yes, when you wanted to say no, you gave away your power. Sometimes, you’re glad you said yes but at times you regret your affirmation. Don’t get me wrong, serve if you have the capacity and extend to your neighbors. But don’t over stretch yourself if you don’t have the capacity; you don’t want to resent yourself or people.
What about when you put your foot in your mouth? You apologize but you keep overthinking it, thinking what can I do better or how can I keep this person from being mad at me? You give your power to that person. You will probably do anything to get them to be “happy” again. You feel like their happiness is your responsibility. People’s happiness is THEIR responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, sincerely right your wrongs but then keep it moving.
What about when you like someone intimately? For people pleasers we want people to like us so we’re not even ourselves. But have you noticed that you are yourself with people you don’t like and they end up liking you, but with the person you like, you’re this version of yourself that is not really you, and that person doesn’t like you. You’re thinking “… why can’t you be more like that person”. But really, “why can’t you be more like yourself”.
Don’t give people your power based on what you think you’re supposed to be. Be you, be genuine, be sincere, be powerful. When you start overthinking or people pleasing, talk sense into yourself. Sometimes we need accountability or professional help to correct this way of thinking. Don’t be fearful to go after that. There’s no shame in seeking positive mental behaviors. I pray in 2018 you stop overthinking and start being YOU.
Nothing but love,