Take Care of Me…

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

It’s been a long time I shouldn’t have left you, left you  without a dope beat to step to, step to…corny I know! But I pray you are all well.

First, let me apologize for my absence, when life happened it happened.

It’s funny how we can constantly tell others that it’s okay and things will be better but never truly believe those words until something happens to us… Let me explain.

December 2016 ended with a devastating loss for me. My family tried to encourage me and I was trying to convince myself that “yes I’m okay!” without actually dealing with my feelings. This, my friends was not a good idea at all!

I was trying to stay strong in my faith but to be quite honest I struggled. It was hard for me to encourage anybody when I wasn’t encouraged, I wasn’t happy, and I wasn’t positive. I was embarrassed, I was sad, and I was angry. I had nothing to give anybody because I had nothing to give myself. I felt like I had let myself down.

I still had obligations and other commitments, and I felt bad that I couldn’t do or give my best.  But, that’s when my mother reminded me, it is okay to take time to take care of yourself. Taking care of your self is essential for YOU and those around you!

Here are a few steps that helped me during my low moment:

 1. Speak the Word!

The word of God is alive and living. When you read and speak God’s promises over yourself it’s like a seed that is planted, watered, and grows. The fruit of those seeds are His peace, His joy, His strength, His love and so much more.

2. Misery loves company, but you shouldn’t!

Watch who you surround yourself with during this time, this can make all the difference in the world. They can either keep you down or lift you up. Positive vibes only remember that!!

3. Just do it!

Research has shown that exercise or any other physical activity aids in decreasing depression. So get out there!  Zumba, yoga, weight training, whatever it is,  get moving and release those feel-good brain chemicals!

4. Don’t be so hard!

Do not be so hard on yourself. Life happens but don’t allow it to break you. Work through what you are feeling, allow your self to be sad, and angry but then pick yourself back up. You may be down for the count but don’t be counted out!

 

So until next time, take care of yourself and don’t feel guilty! You deserve your best SELF!!

Lady J.

Talk that Talk Thursday: Met Gala 2017

The Met Gala, also known as the Costume Institute Ball, is one of the biggest spring fashion events of the year. The purpose of the gala is to fundraise for the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute in New York City. There is a theme every year– 2015 was China through the looking glass and 2013 was Punk: Chaos to Couture. This year’s theme was Avante Gard, and if you’re anything like me…you had to look that up. Avante gard means unusual, extraordinary, beyond, pushing the limits. Before knowing what his years theme was, I was like not feeling Rihanna’s outfit, but of course I was okay with it because well… she’s Rihanna! After knowing the theme, she nailed it! Rihanna had on a floral architectural Comme de Garçons dress while everyone else looked like they were going to prom…elegantly of course. The thing I love about Rihanna is that she’s knows her fashion and she is loyal to it. The bad gal may be a rebel in other areas, but she’s no rebel when it comes to the met life; she is the slayer!


(Via vogue.com)

Though Rihanna outdid her competition in terms of theme, there were some other ensembles that caught my eye and felt did good measures with the theme.

Cara Delevingne (via.vogue.com)
Rita Ora (via Vogue.com)

Loving this futuristic hair on these two lovely ladies! 

Gigi Hadid (via Vogue.com)

Loving this asymmetrical look on her!

Gigi Hadid (via Vogue.com)

Then her baby sis showed us how to really push the limits!

Blake Lively (via Vogue.com)

Intriguing till you see the bottom of her gown, then POW! Absolutely stunning!

Madonna (via Vogue.com)

I love camo, but not in gown form. However, for this year’s theme, it defeinitely did the trick, especially with that leaf train. Thumbs up Madonna!


Chrissy Tiegen (via Vogue.com)

Oh tease me Tiegy! Absolutely love her ensemble that perfectly compliments her husband’s. Fierce yet subtle with the white lace and flowers.


Kate Hundson (via Vogue.com)

Now Kate just wore a one-shoulder white gown; not major right? But that hair! She definitely looked stunning and fierce.


Zendaya Coleman (via Vogue.com)

Our favorite Disney star has the height to make the piece work; the gown, the hair, the attitude!


Nicki Minaj (via Vogue.com)

This was my only ABSOLUTELY NOT for the night. Avante Gard, not Transylvania Nicki. Please don’t shoot me pink ladies.

Let us know what your favorite looks of the night were! And what would you wear if you went? Let’s have a discussion! 

Your Trendy Topliner,

Sandra

Relationship Idols

Let’s talk about relationship idols! First… what exactly is an idol? Idol: any person or thing regarded with blind admiration, adoration, or devotion. And if you know the 10 commandments, the word idol is also used to prevent believers from worshiping other gods, people or things, but why do we still struggle with idol worship? It’s simple. It’s easier to love a person, place, or thing that we can grasp and see, than it is to do the same to a Spirit. 

People love the idea of God, but don’t necessarily love God. They love what he can do for them, but as soon as the blessings “stop” rolling in, they give up on God. We’d rather spend time scrolling on social media, cuddling up with our boy toys, or watching the newest episode of Empire. Now, I’m not saying that having a life outside of our relationship with God is horrible, but I am saying that we have to create balance (which is tricky). Just like finding time to fit your spouse and children into your life, God needs to be a priority as well if you are a believer. Ideally, God should be number one and everything else should follow. Trust me, I’m guilty of it too, so I’m not judging, but I do want to make you think. How many hours a day do you spend with God compared to the hours you spend on social media, watching tv, in the gym, hanging with your boyfriend, etc.? It’s most likely significantly less. You’re not a bad person, but it should convict your heart when you think about it.

Idols are extremely dangerous because they become so important that we can’t imagine life without them. I remember in my last relationship, I couldn’t go a day without speaking to my boyfriend. I was totally wrapped up in him. I was even willing to compromise my own convictions and beliefs just to be loved by him. Idol on aisle 3!

There’s no problem with loving your boyfriend or spouse, but when he’s more important than God, that’s when things get sticky. Your man didn’t die for your sins, and your man also doesn’t breathe life into your body each morning. Yes, I get it… companionship makes it difficult not to run to him for advice first, but have you tried seeking God first? Your man is Sway and he doesn’t have the answers, but God does for sure. Plus, I know you’re not running to him for advice when you’re having an issue with him LOL. Exactly! You’re either begging God for guidance or texting your girlfriends for sound advice.

And don’t get me started on us single ladies. We spend more time conjuring up a plan to get a man than submitting our will to Christ.

Then we have the nerve to wonder why the devil is constantly attacking us when we have all these idols stacked up before God. All week I’ve been able to relate and I’ve been looking like this…

I had to get off social media this week because the devil was really busy! I realized that social media was steadily creeping on my list of idols, which was causing me to fall off with my alone time with God. I wasn’t prayed up and prepared for spiritual warfare at all, and that’s exactly when the devil attacks!

So in closing, sis… let those idols go! Find balance and stayed prayed up! Check out the video below on relationship idols. It inspired this blog post.

Single as a Dollar Bill and Weary

Hey Queens!

As you probably know, I am single as a dollar bill! Like SINGLE, single. No dates (with the exception of one HORRIBLE one), No serious DM’s, nobody showing interest, Nada. I’m like off the map LOL. Maybe you can relate… I’ve been single for about two and a half years, and I always get the “why are you single” question. I mean not to toot my own horn but I’m pretty poppin if I had to say. I’m 24. Attractive, Intelligent, Independent, and I love Jesus. If there was an application for getting into a relationship, I look very good on paper, but the reality is that I’m still single, and have been since age 21. As I wrote in a previous blog post, the struggle with contentment can be real for a gal like myself, but contentment isn’t the biggest struggle. It’s actually the weariness that can suddenly fall upon you when you’re waiting and STILL single.

Image result for single

Now don’t get me wrong. My life is flourishing. I’m actually the happiest I have EVER been. I’m busy (good busy), hair is healthy, body is tight, skin is clear, and my relationship with God is cool like the other side of the pillow; but there are times when I desire companionship. I want to go on cute dates, I want to confide in someone, I want to do Bible Study with my man. I want all that, but it’s just a dream right now.

About two weeks ago my Spirit was becoming weary. I began to think like “Dang God, I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do and STILL nobody is checking for me. You still got me right?” And in Holy Spirit fashion I heard “do not become weary in well-doing.” (Galatians 6:9) All I could do was laugh because God always checks me when I’m trippin. For the following 2-3 days I kept seeing that scripture everywhere. It was on social media, in sermons I was watching, and even in the praise and worship segment at church. Clearly God was encouraging me and I needed that. He reminded me that my obedience is not taken for granted and that my blessing is coming.

Galatians 6:9 Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up.

So for all the sistas out there that feel like God has forgotten about you, know that he hasn’t. Do not become weary. That’s just a tool from Satan to make you feel like you’ll be single forever, and that you might as well conform to the world because doing “right” isn’t getting you anywhere. We must also remember that God is not required to send us a man, so if you’re only living for Christ because you think you’ll get a man out the deal, shift your focus immediately!

Check out this video from The Heather Lindsey Show!

Putting ME First

[I will] continually ask God to fill [me] with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives. -Colossians 1:9 

I don’t remember exactly when I began to pray this Scripture, but I believe that praying this along with continually asking God to use all of my experiences to teach me has led me to my current and newest revelation. In the past two months, God has used my sister, a new friend, my introduction to Redefine Woman, and the struggles of my former relationship to tell me to pay attention to how I feel. For days I ignored this push to focus on me.

Once again while planning for my mentoring group (lol), the videos I found to share with my girls truly spoke to me. In addition to being pushed to focus on myself, these videos (below) put in perspective why that is so important.

________________________________________________________________________

Why YOU?

 

Why put YOU first?

 

How can putting YOU first create balance?

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Initially, I ignored the push to focus on myself because I was afraid. Afraid of making a change, afraid of how this could affect all those close to me, and afraid of what this would really mean. However, I found the conversations in the videos above to be really inspirational; they helped to instill in me the desire to take more time for me. I feel that God wants me to spend time learning what my purpose is, taking care of my inner and physical being, and focusing on what makes me happy. Although coming to this realization has caused me to make several decisions that I am not necessarily happy with, I am confident in the ultimate results that this will bring.

What struck me the MOST:

  • Your NUMBER 1 JOB is to figure out what your purpose is and to align your skills, personality and being with your purpose
  • Only through learning your purpose, do you have the ability to offer your full self to the rest of the world
  • You are the representation of God in your life so you have to be as good to you as you want to be to God
  • Be Self-FULL. You don’t have anything to give that you don’t have. You have to keep your cup full. What is in your cup is for you, what comes out of the cup is for everyone else
  • You have to take care of yourself, in order to have the alignment, power, and energy to take care of others
  • Taking care of yourself feeds into your happiness and helps you to be full enough to give into other areas of your life which ultimately creates balance

 

I am looking forward to taking care of me!

-WhataBeauty